A Two - (uh TOO) - meaning is obvious, but make sure you reply with "gesundheit".
A Shoe - (uh SHOO) - meaning is obvious, make sure to respond with "gesundheit".
Ancho Chicken Nacho Cheese - (AIN cho chic ken NOT cho cheese) - a dish made by mixing nacho cheese flavored tortilla chips into ancho chicken flavored chili - it's quite delicious, just tell others 'dat ancho chicken and dat nacho cheese'.
Aliguator - (uh LIG yu way tor) - alligater, especially a mechanical one.
Arsefit - (ARSE fit) - outfit.
Ayiddies ayiddies ayiddies buchayous aveaz! - (uh YID EEZ uh YID EEZ uh YID EEZ but CHAY US uh VEE uz - said in a high pitch) - A battle yell intended to scare cats, invented by my brother Justin when we were kids.
Awe - (AWE ua) - a Hossism said when something goes wrong. Example: after dropping a paintbrush and getting paint all over your shoe - 'AWE!!'.
Badorkio - (ba DOR ke yo) - a suspected gas planet half the size of Neptune well beyond Pluto. When I was a kid, some dude told me there was a planet beyond Pluto called Badorkio, I believed him and imagined a purple colored gas planet half of Neptune's size - I would also include Badorkio in my solar system drawings for many years until I could find no evidence for it and realized the dude must have been joking (especially with a name like baDORKio). How interesting that there is now a suspected planet fitting that description called Planet Nine - I would be shocked if they wind up naming it Badorkio.
Banana Pudding From Mars - (buh NAN nuh PUD ding from MARZ) - a banana pudding like dish which is made like banana pudding but with the following changes: use cherimoya instead of banana, use pistachio pudding instead of vanilla pudding, and use pink wafer cookies instead of vanilla wafers. Also add some blue food coloring. It tastes pretty good, I came up with this and brought it to a church lunch get together a while back.
Banana Pudding From Uranus - (buh NAN nuh PUD ding from yur A nus) - a banana pudding like dish which is made like banana pudding but with the following changes: use durian instead of banana, use durian pudding instead of vanilla pudding, and use durian flavored wafer cookies instead of vanilla wafers. Add food coloring to give it a yucky yellow-greenish brown color. I never tried this, could make a great April Fools joke - guaranteed to taste horribly bad.
Bandage - (bon DAZH) - "French" way to say bandage.
Beezit - (BEE zit) - is, it is, or is it - as in 'that it beezit, mon'.
Beste - (BEST) - paste.
Beyolnd - (be YAWWWWWWLLLNNND - say in a mysterious like way especially while passing your hand in front of you as to reveal the beyolnd) - way way WAY beyond, in a twelve dimensional alien life forms sort of way.
Brotayue - (BRA ta yoo) - sponser. An example sentence "this program is brotayued by Texas Bob's Toadburgers" When I was young I thought the phrase "brought to you" was one word.
Brungfunth - (BRUNG FUNTH - said sort of fast) - the type of breakfast that my Grandpa (Ol' Hoss) used to fix up - sausage cooked in an iron skillet with greece until nearly overdone, leave the greece in and then scramble eggs in skillet until they are nice and brown with small greecy chunks inside. Served with either toast or bisquits, sometimes bacon, and either milk, coffee, or juice of orange. Even though it looked rough, it was delicious. The term brungfunth comes from the way Ol' Hoss pronounced "breakfast". He would usually ask "Wan' some Brungfunth?"
Bugui - (BOO gui) - buggy or shopping cart. Plural is also bugui.
Bugui of Orange - (BOO gui uv'a RONG ay) - smaller orange shopping cart, plural is the same.
Bukuwockum Finumly - (BOO koo WOCK'm FIN um lee) - Extreme form of finly (finally), Bentley should say this when the 10th counter is finished.
Caulkin' Up High - (cal kin up HI) - coconut pie. This phrase came up when my dad asked Jeff if he liked coconut pie while Jeff was on a ladder caulking. Jeff thought dad asked if he liked caulking up high.
Chill Why - (chill WY) - strange way to say chili - Chill Why? because it is so good.
Chocolate - (SHOK o LAH tey) - odd way to pronounce chocolate.
Cow Kamanie - (COW ca may nee) - cow manure.
Currazae - (currr AY zae) - strange or crazy in a very bizarre way.
Damage - (duh MAZH) - "French" way to say damage.
Dargnarbit - (darg NAR BIT) - dagnabbit or dadgum.
Delishamosa - (de LISH a MOSE uh / DE e LISH A mose uh) - delicious.
Diagorilla - (DI ya gorrr E ya) - festive way to describe a massive diarhea as though it was by a gorilla.
Doggit Boy - (DAW git boy) - a redneck expression of surprize, usually about how large something is such as a task.
Done Did and Out of the Way - (dun DID'n OU'DA DA way) - it is done.
Eagle - (e YOG lee) - wierd way to pronounce eagle. Can also represent an ugly eagle.
Egg Sealant, the Stuff You Seal Eggs With - (EGG seh lint thuh STUHHHF ya SEE'yul AY'egz wee'yid) - excellent.
Eight - (e YIG hit) - wierd way to pronounce eight.
El Brocko - (el BROCK o) - break time.
El Conclearo - (el con CLEAR o) - it's clear.
El Dundiddo - (EL dun DID doe) - it's done.
El Gotto - (el GOT toe) - got it.
El Gottamondo - (el GOT a MOND doe) - gonna get it or got it - past tense is el gottamonded.
El Grape - (el GRAH pay) - grape.
El Nothino - (el nuth THEE nyo) - nothing.
Elepuhunt - (EL uh puh hunt) - odd way to say elephant.
Elevyone - (e lev YONE) - Eleven.
Eustobbie - (yu STOBB e) - used to be.
Excellonte - (EK sa LONT ay) - a festive way to say excellent.
Falame Sandwich - (fa LA me SAND wich) - Falame means "follow me", the sandwich part is to extend the joke for falame rhymes with salami and there are salami sandwiches.
Fastenatink - (FAST stin ay tink) - fastenating with over emphasis on the st.
Fetaire - (FEE tair) - wierd way to say feather.
File - (FIH lee) - wierd way to say file.
Finly - (fin LEE) - finally.
Finosta - (fin O sta) - Finished.
Finumly - (FIN um lee) - stronger form of finly.
Fivever - (FI vev ver) - longer than forever or seemingly so. "Boy this it taking fivever".
Fleace - (FLEESE) - a glue trap full of fleas.
Flice Water - (FLISE wa der) - water with dead flies in it.
For A Sample Of An Egg - (for a SAM PUL of an EGG) - for example.
Forester Three - (FOR riss ster THREE) - cook four minutes, stir, then cook three minutes - Four stir three.
Fortify - (FOR ta fy / FO ta fy) - applying a 45 to something - for example 8:45 is fortified.
Frus - (FRUS) - for us.
Füdelsteichz - (FOOD'l stikes - said strongly with Germanic accent) - fiddlesticks.
Gadu - (ga DOO) - do.
Gahrried - (GAHHHH reed) - wierd way to say carried, as in gahried away.
Galveston Sayer - (GAL veh stun SAY er) - a type of freeway streetlight with two lights which resembles eyes and the structure holding them looks like a smiling mouth, I first noticed them when going to Galveston in '83 when I was a kid. They looked like they were saying "Galveston" hence the name.
Garbage - (gar BOZH) - a "French" way to say garbage.
Ghgoogkgee - (GHGOOK gkgee - let ghg have a very strong g sound that hangs and gkg have a hanging g that is near a k sound) - cookie.
Ghgopy - (ghgah PEE) - copy.
Ghgragkger - (GHGRAK gkger) - cracker.
Giddit Did - (GID dit did (just like the polyhedron)) - means get it done, can be used for a pun on the polyhedron gidditdid.
Git R Gone - (GID'r gone) - similar to the Cable Guy's Git R Done, means time to leave, or get something removed.
Git'n'r Got'n'r Gone - (GIT in er GOT in er gone) - working on getting something completed, in other words getting it to a place where it is done did and out of the way. Another form is 'git'n'r git'in'it got'in'er gone'.
Give Me Your Foot For a Record - (GIVE ME YOUR FOOT for UH reh kord - said in a musical way) - invented by my brother Justin when we were kids, he would then tickle my feet like crazy after saying it with me trying to kick loose from the grip, seems to be archaic now.
Goly Tely - (GAH lee TEH lee) - an exclamation depicting shock or surprize at how powerful or large something is. Once I seen a colon cleanser called GoLytely (Go Lytely) and first thought it was called "Goly Tely" - must be some unimaginably powerful stuff.
Gone Scissors 61 - (gone SIZ zerz SIK tee WUN) - gone completely looney or insane, talking utter nonsense as though the sentences they are saying completely malfunctions - The "Scissors 61" comes from the PS2 game Metal Gear Solid 2 where the Colonel calls Raiden and says crazy nonsense type sentences including the 'famous purple stuffed worm from flapjaw space' one where he says "I need scissors 61!". So I added the 'gone' to the phrase to represent going completey crazy like that Colonel. Alternatives include going scissors 61, gone completely scissors 61, went scissors 61, and going completely scissors 61. Here is an example sentence that has gone scissors 61 - "When I caught a Tuesday on the 76th of catfish, the trigonometry walked up to me and shouted for a yesterday sandwich with sixteenable grilled neutrons."
Good Gosh - (GOOD gosh / good GOSH) - a Hossism said when something goes wrong (first pronounciation) or when something surprising (second pronounciation) is mentioned. Other versions is good gosh-o-mity or good gosh-o-mity knows.
Goodness Gracias - (GOOD ness GRAAAH shaaahs - gracias said slowly) - a mix of goodness gracious and gracias.
Goodn't - (GOONT) - good night, can be said any time of day when going to bed or the one you're talking too is going to bed.
Gorilla - (gorrr RE yah) - a "Spanish" way of saying gorilla.
Gotchu - (GA choo) - got you, or understand you. Usually said as a responce to "got me?" and then responded by saying "gesundheit". "Got me?" "gotchu" "gesundheit".
Goup - (GOOP) - go up, as in 'goup the stairs'.
Grayawos Hoppa - (GRAY a wass hopp pa) - grass hopper.
Grollow - (GROLL low) - attacking in the manner of a gorilla.
Growull - (grauw WULL) - say this when you feel like growling.
Guastian - (GUASSSS tyan - let the 'g' hang a bit) - question.
Guide - (GWEED) - said in a high pitched voice usually when pressing the guide button on your remote) - wierd way to say guide.
Gular - (GOO lahr) - crazy way to say color.
Hack Attack - (HAK a tak) - a mucus attack.
Hang On Seconta - (HANG on se KONT a) - hang on a second.
Hellofacopter - (HELL UV UH cop ter) - one hell of a helicopter.
Higlucant - (hig LOO kant) - a measurement of water from a fountain equivalent to one swallow, I coined this when in middle school.
Homemade - (ho MEM a dee) - alternate way to say homemade.
Homemade Vanilla I*e #ream - (ho MEM a dee va NEE ya ah #EE #REE yom) - homemade vanilla icecream.
Howevyore - (how EV yore) - however.
Hossism - (HOSS iz um) - one of Hoss's sayings.
Icorisia - (I kor ISS e uh) - the gospel of Jesus that saves found in I Corinthians 15 1-4, abbreviated I Cor 15 1-4 - or Icorisia.
If It Ain't One Thang It's Another - (IF it aint WUN THANG ITS UH nuh der) - if something bad ain't happening, something else bad is. Hoss said this a lot.
Ifyontu - (if YONE too) - if you want to.
Iguana Bonding - (ig GWA na bon ding) - bonding with an iguana by staring at it as it stares back.
Innertube Wrestling - (IN ner tube res ling) - A fun game to play at the lake involving an innertube and two or more players. The goal is to ring one of the other players for a count of three using the innertube. You can even attack using the innertube and wrestle it from other players.
Island - (IZ land) - weird way to pronounce island.
Isle - (IZ'l) - and isle or an aisle.
It Aint Done It - (IT aint DUN IT) - it isn't so, common phrase of Ol' Hoss.
It Is To Done It - (IT is to DUN IT / it IS TOO dun it) - it is so, a Hossism.
It Sure is Wednesday Today - (it syur is WINZ dee tu day) - it sure is windy today.
Iyawawas - (EE ya wa was) - is. There are many other words you can do this too - one syllable words with a consonant on the end and either an a, e, or i in the middle (or start) - examples cayawawat (cat), theyawawis (this), iyawawat (it), and leyawawad (lead). It's a whole other language which has a super strong southern drawl.
I*e #ream - (ah #EE #REE yom) - a throaty way to say ice cream.
Jet to the John - (JET to the JON) - go to the bathroom.
Jickit Fum - (JIK't fum) - JCT FM as found in junction farm road signs.
Juice of Apule - (JWEESE uv a PYOOL) - wierd way to say apple juice.
Juice of El Grape - (JWEESE uv el GRAH pay) - festive way to say grape juice.
Juice of Orange - (JWEESE uv'a RONG ay) - festive way to say orange juice.
Juice of Pineapple - (JWEESE uv pin e YOP lay) - festive way to say pineapple juice.
Ket Funch - (KET funch) - no definition yet, but it sounds gross, made this term up a while back.
Kitten Chocolate - (KIT tin chok lit) - the stinky morsels found in the litter box - or on the floor, chair, bed, table, bar, etc.
Land Slugger - (LAN' slug ger) - Something with a powerful effect and is unforgetable. Example use "Why don't you take a picture? It's a land slugger." Actually I got this term as I misheard "last longer".
Language - (lang GWAZH) - 'French' way to say 'language'.
La Tor - (la TORR) - later.
Larsee - (larrsssh SEEEE) - let's see.
Lestasha - (LES ta shah) - let's start here.
Lets Do The Zap Around - (LETS du da ZAP a roun' - said in a jive like way) - lets turn around to go to the next isle, or next area such as a room, always involves a near 180 degree turn to go to an adjacent area.
Lets Go It From There - (lets GO WIT FROM thair) - lets take it from there. 'Lets go it from here' is another version.
Lets Out This Joint - (lets OUT this joint) - lets leave this place.
Lets Rock and Toad - (lets ROK and tode) - odd form of "lets rock and roll". Usually means lets get moving and then stop and sit like a toad.
The Little People - (da LEET'l PEEP'l - say with Irish accent) - birds, especially those that walk around in store parking lots.
Lost as a Polar Bear on a Hot Summer Day - (LOST as a PO LUR BARE on a HOT SUM MER day) - utterly lost.
Make Sewage - (make SU wij) - means make sure - the 'sure' part degenerated into 'sewer', then to 'sewage'. Example - "Lets make sewage that everything is ready." Another form is "making sewage" which means making sure.
Makes as Much Sense as a Broken Gumball Machine - (MAIKS as much SENSE as a BRO ken GUM ball ma sheen) - makes no since at all, like a broken gumball machine can't take any pennies (cents).
Marsly - (MARZ lee) - beyond earthly, example: 'I have no earthly or marsly idea what this is'.
Mebasha - (MEH ba shah) - maybe here.
Meducin - (meh DYOO sin) - crazy way to pronounce medicine.
Mph - (MMF) - miles per hour.
My Goodneh - (MY good neh) - a Hossism which has the same meaning as the exclamation 'my goodness'.
Nannywee - (NAN nee wee) - my blanket when I was a baby. I don't remember making this word up, but I coined it when I was a baby according to mom - archaic now.
Narsty - (NAR stee) - nasty in a gnarly way.
Nashly - (NASH ly) - a Hossism based off the word naturally and is usually said when something unpleasent naturally happens. Sometimes said with other words like 'well nashly', or 'awe nashly'.
Ngananga - (NGAH na ngah) - coat hanger.
Nganopana - (ngah NA pa nah) - can opener.
Nillo Con Findo - (nill lo con FIND o) - can't find it.
Ning - (NING) - Making music with your mouth by sounding out "ninganinganinganing...." with a few "choochoochkachkachka.." sounds, similar to beat boxing. Ninging works great with fast electrodance music. Example below.
Number Dirts - (NUM ber durts) - plastic toy numbers with no magnets that could be used as a mold to pack dirt in, had these when I was a kid - I made up the term though.
Objecto - (ob JECT o) - object.
Okadoke - (o KA da keh - said fast and Japanese like, can be replied by saying o ka da KEH!, and then by saying strong and slow ohh KAAA daaa keh) - a very strong form of okeedokee or OK. Okadoke? as a question is asking for confirmation and then as a statement it is confirmation - okadoke?
Oishe - (OISHE) - yes or ice.
One Of Those Paul Things - (wun a those PALL things) - anything that is not wrong in itself and shouldn't be condemned or manditory for a Christian, based on Romans chapter 14. Examples include food preferences, reading comic books, playing videogames, riding an airplane, music preferences, etc.
Oogli - (OO glee) - very ugly.
Orange - (a RONG ay) - orange, can be fruit or color.
Paching Pachoung - (pa CHING PA choung - said in a Chinese sounding way) - move this to there, said by pointing to one place then another.
Paul's Toungue Twister - (palls TUNG twis ter) - Romans 7:19-20. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Phodiate - (FO dee ate) - 48.
Pineapple - (pin e YOP lay) - pineapple.
Pomegranate - (POM e gra NOT ay) - pomegranate.
Probabibobably - (PROB a bib BOB ab lee) - Probably.
Rafridjorador - (RRRA frrij JORRR a dor - said like a festive conquistador) - a VERY festive refridgerator.
Roa*es - (ro A# ez) - weird way to pronounce roaches.
Rotate - (ro TAH tey) - a different way to pronounce rotate.
Save - (sah VEY) - weird way to say save.
Saveas - (suh VAHZ) - save as.
Say It Is - (SAY it is) - verify (or it's verified) what you said. Jeff uses this a lot.
Say That I Am - (SAY dat i am) - verify (it's verified) what you said about me. Common phrase from my brother Jeff.
Say That You Are - (SAY dat you are) - verify (you are verified) what you said about yourself. A common phrase from my brother Jeff. Might add "doggit boy"
See'a'im Sayim' Asayim' a Sayim a Sayim a Sahahasayahahaham - (SEE ah um SAY um a SAY um a SAY um a sa ha ha SAY ah ah ah um) - An extremely crazy way to say "See what I'm saying?", Hope I got it spelled right.
Sevyone - (sev YONE) - seven.
Shah - (SHAH) - here.
Shanda - (SHAN da) - yonder.
Shecan - (she CAN) - strange way to say chicken.
Shoobie Shah - (SHOO bee shahhh) - should be here.
Slipy - (SLI pee) - slippery in a slimy way, like the slime on a banana peel.
Snarull - (sna RULL) - say this when you need to snarl.
Skywa Tching - (squah TCHING) - The act of watching the sky. I once misread the words "Sky Watching" as "skywa tching" and thought it was funny.
Squethle - (SQUEH thul) - strange way to say squirrel.
SSB - (ess ess BEE) - short for 'slaughtered bird on a bun' which is a shredded barbeque chicken sandwich.
Stannous Smell - (STAN us smell) - the sharp sweet-sour metallic odor tin has when rubbed.
Stashnra - (stash NRAAA - say in a George W Bush sort of way) - stationary.
Strabra - (ssTRAAA BRAAA - say in a George W Bush sort of way) - strawberry.
TheROWed Off - (the RODE off) - utterly throwed off or extremely bizarre or just plain wrong, like some of my Another Reality cartoons.
Threach - (THREECH) - three each.
Three Many - (THREE meh nee) - somewhat more than too many.
Three-ever - (three EV er) - a long time but not quite forever.
Threegive - (three GIVE) - incompletely forgive.
THREES! - (THREEZ - said in a demanding police sort of way) - threes, said when you spot several 3's - people may respond by sticking their hands up.
Tisn'ta'isle - (tiz'NT'IZ'l -suck air in when saying the NT'IZ part) - This isn't the aisle.
Toadst - (TODE st) - toast made of toads.
Toadtastic - (tode TAS tic) - fantastic in a toad sort of way.
Toadum Pole - (TOE d'm pole) - a verticle stack of toads.
Toilet Mint - (TOY lit mint) - a round tablet with a fresh odor that is placed in toilets to freshen them. One of my characters, the Pathetasaur, has an unsatiable appetite for them.
Tortilla - (tor TILL lah) - an "un-Spanish" way of saying tortilla.
Twahd - (TWAHD) - tired. Example sentence "I'm twahd" replied by "Oh, hello Todd".
Twainch - (TWAINCH) - a two inch block. Term made up by my brother Jeff.
Tweezeday - (TWEEZ day) - Tuesday.
Uff Uff Dog - (UFF uff dog) - a small toy dog that made an 'uff' sounding bark that was controlled by a controller attached to a cord. I had this when I was a kid, made up the term though.
Umbrella - (oom BRRREE ya) - a "Spanish" way of saying umbrella.
Ungetupable - (un git UP a bul) - inability to be got up, example 'that stain on the floor is ungetupable'.
Upside Over - (up side O ver) - turned on its side.
Vanilla - (va NEE ya) - "Spanish" way to say vanilla.
Vegetables - (VEH gee TA blez) - strange way to pronounce vegetables.
Viral Belch - (VI rul belch) - a condition when your belches smell like rotten eggs - it usually means you are going to feel very sick to your stomach - ALL day long. I sometimes call it the "dreaded viral belch".
Wallago - (wah la GO / WAH la go) - somewhat earlier. As in "I watched a cool movie wallago". It's how I heard the phrase "while ago" when I was young and is the common way of saying while ago in East Texas.
We Arses a Blarstin' Aren't We All - (we ARRRSS siz'a BLARRRSSS stin ARRNT we awl - said in a very salty pirate accent) - said when everyone around including the pirate that said the phrase are 'releasing the kraken' (crackin' farts that is).
Weya Susa - (WE ya SOO sah) - something to say when you pick up something off the ground, sort of like saying 'haya' during a karate chop. You can say it when you sit down, get out of a chair or any other quick move.
Weyad - (WE yad) - weird way to pronounce weird.
What Do You Puke? - (WAT do you PYOOK / wat do YOU pyook) - a greeting which means "what are you up too?" or "what's up". My brother Justin came up with this when we were trying to come up with silly greetings back when we were teenagers, he won. We three brothers used this greeting ever since. Alternatives include "What'm Puke?", "What's the Puke?", and "What Pukest Thou?".
What The Mess - (WAT da MESS) - a Hossism that means something is surprisingly wrong, for example you run into a bunch of raccoons in your house - "What the Mess!".
Where The Mess - (WARE da MESS) - not actually a Hossism, but based off one (what the mess). Said when you can't find something after looking for it for a while.
Why Show it is to Done It - (wy SHOW it IS TOO dun it) - Why sure it is so. This is one of Ol' Hoss's phrases.
Yazyazyaz - (YOZ yoz yoz) - a type of pylon found in East Texas which has an angular face like appearance with "eyes", "mouth", and horns. I coined this when I was between 6 and 9.
Yaways Yud Me - (YAW ways yud me) - you always heard me.
Yoit - (YOIT) - poop.
Yongry? - (YONG REE) - are you hungry?.
Yontu? - (YONE TOO) - you want to?.
You Can't Win For Losing - (YU cant WIN FER loo zin) - you (in a general sense) can't win even if you're tying to loose. Another Hossism depicting how hard it is to get something to go right.
Yud Me? - (yud ME) - you heard me?.
Yusay Da Bafoom - (yu say da ba FOOM) - use the bathroom.
Zhally - (zha LEE) - jelly.
Zook - (ZOOK) - zuccini.
#i*en - (*i #EN) - wierd way to say chicken.